Came a question from W on dating mindsets:
“Since you do nonmonogamy – how do you master detachment whilst still enjoying it? Due to a series of unfortunate events I lost my FB a week ago, and then my main was uncomfortable with being open so she tried to friendzone me (after time apart)
So now I’m back to step 1. Lesson learned not to verbalise non monogamy earlier though.
I have another question too – Mark Manson talks about how you should be fuck yes when dating – and they should be about you – do you apply this to your fbs too? Feel like I settle with some of the girls I date. Thanks all”
Great question.
It’s no secret that I me and my mates are non-monogamous. Not something I talk about in public since more people do not get what it really means.
Here’s how I responded to brother W:
Great questions brother.
Let’s start with 1.
We do NOT detach. Detach means to cut off a part of ourselves, life is miserable when you do that.
This goes into your second question.
We are ALL-IN with our lives. Our happiness is #1. So we only date or have friends with people who are all in on our happiness too.
The aim is not to detach, but to fully enjoy the moment with people we love. As you pointed out you jumped ahead of the moment, and that’s why you’re in the situation you’re in.
Arguably monogamous relationships have detachment issues because they lack options. Open relationships have plenty of options so when I choose a woman she genuinely knows that she is special. That I did not settle for her or have to tolerate her.
That’s some foreshadowing for work to come, no spoilers about the future.
Practice enjoying one moment at a time.
There is no tomorrow promised.
Enjoy this moment fully, right now.
True meditation ftw.
That’s that.
I stopped teaching guys about dating last year because most did not have the mindset to lead themselves, let alone lead a classy lady they could build a family and empire with.
Now I focus on showing you the winning mindset so you can date confidently, so you don’t skip steps to success, so you enjoy each and every moment with the people you care about the most.
If you want to better connect with your loved ones. Your girl, your man, your brother, your sister, your parents, you colleagues.
Look no further than the Take Charge guide I made for you…
Be well,
— Papi Knox